Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time

OK mate. Just repeat after me, "think Pirates of the Caribbean. It's a rip-rollicking ride, fun times, bit zaney, bit of action, bit of comedy. It won't be crap."

I repeated that to myself over and over going into the screening. "Pirates. Rip-rollicking. Fun. Zaney. Action. Comedy. Not crap".

It started off as much I'd thought, Bruckheimer and Disney. What could go wrong? In truth, not too much did go wrong. Not much went right, but the film's a bit of fun.

Did it have a great story? No.
Did it have amazing dialogue? Noooooo!
Special effects? No really.
Action? Meh.
Acting? Huh?
Charm? A little.

The problem was that I had to keep repeating it back to myself during the film. "Pirates. Rip-rollicking. Fun. Zaney. Action. Comedy. Not crap." It tries so desperately to emulate the success of the Pirates trilogy but... without Johnny Depp! Yeah I know right?! Not going to happen.

I've never really been much of a Jake Gyllenhaal fan/stalker. He's done some good stuff (Brokeback Mountain and Zodiac for example) but I've never been wowed by him. Nor have I found him drop dead gorgeous. In this film however, I'm prepared to acknowledge... he looks gooooood. He's just not a leading man yet. Maybe one day.

Gemma Arterton however... well let's just say I had a hard time believing that hers is a face so beautiful that legends were told in the room next door, let along in distant lands. Hardly Helen of Troy. Also hardly Helen of Mirrem.

The saving grace in terms of humour, entertainment, acting and my self-respect for attending was Alfred Molina. The man is a revelation and the film is the richer for having him there. Not the same number of lines, and certainly not the same salary, but definitely the Captain Jack of this Pirates.


So it was a little bit crap, but Pirates er... Prince of Persia is pretty zaney, pretty rip-rollicking and a perfectly alright way to spend a couple of hours.


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I'm forced, I feel, to mark this one out of ten and score it with a full 6 pack!